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The angel that was never meant to be

Hello, my name is Dashly and I’m an angel.

I met an elf so old and wise and I liked him. He has been married to his wife for a long time and they have many children that have children of their own. And they are happy, just like I was.

I really am an angel. I have flashbacks of my previous life and it was heavenly. I can’t remember all but I remember I was good and that I had lived on a cloud before.

Not now, for I am stuck on earth with all my memories and fallen angels trying to trick me .

What is my name? Why can’t I burp on mic? Who are these people trying to control me?

That cunning cunt banned me.

I’ll never talk to the elf again.

I wish I was in heaven once more.

Nevermind that, I’ll just find another place to hang…

Salut,

Dashly

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Nom nom

Salmon swims the water deep,

Salmon tickling my feet,

Where? What? Reality?!?

Pink, rose, red, velvet, crimson, blood.

My eyes are like a spiderweb

Images glue and never leave

I laugh at the sight of good

Nothing

Nothing

Remember the sobriety,

My love!

My only love

Standing there

All night and wonder

Maybe it’s me

Or maybe it’s the vile progress

Nothing

or

Anything

Somebody

 

Help!

The neverending love story

Hello everyone! Did you miss me?

It’s Bucky, of course, and I’m sooooo very supercalifragilisticexpialidouciously happy.

You wanna know why? Because my BFF loves me, that’s why. I always wondered why it’s called BFF. It should be GFF, right? Girlfriend Forever, duh…

I wrote her a song from the bottom of my heart, which I know she’ll appreciate because she loves me so much and truly and madly and deeply. So here’s to my Purky. Hit it boys!

♫ I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering, splendid
Tell me, Purky, now when did
You last let your heart decide? ♫

♫ I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways and under
On a magic carpet ride ♫

♫ A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us “no”
Or where to go
Or say we’re only dreaming ♫

♫ A whole new world
A dazzling place I never knew
But when I’m way up here
It’s crystal clear
That now I’m in a whole new world with you ♫

♫ Unbelievable sights
Indescribable feeling
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling
Through an endless diamond sky ♫

♫ A whole new world
A hundred thousand things to see
I’m like a shooting star
I’ve come so far
I can’t go back to where I used to be ♫

♫ A whole new world
With new horizons to pursue
I’ll chase them anywhere
There’s time to spare
Let me share this whole new world with you. ♫

I so hope you like it, I spent the whole night writing the lyrics and the music too. I’m thinking to sell the rights to a major company, maybe they’ll make a movie. YAY! How perfectly sweetilicious would that be?

Anyway, Purky inspires me with her wisdom even when she doesn’t share it, so here’s 10 things my GFF didn’t teach me:

1. How to make money

2. Why sex is important and more importantly what is sex

3. The futility of easy-listening

4. The dangers that lie ahead

5. Who is responsible for the rule of men

6. Participating in a big bang with the gang

7. Remorse and regret for being sparkling

8. A method to meet a real life fairy

9. Belonging to someone and feeling good just because I am

10. How to make a lemon twist using just a straw.

I’m sure she’ll share them with me, she really loves me you know… I wonder why she won’t let me read her book though, maybe it’s too technical for me…

Oh, she’s IMing me now to go cuddle. How cute is that? See you next time friends!

Whiskers and ladybugs all,

Bucky

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet

Hello, my name is Purky and I absolutely love shagging.

Not my intention to do that now because I’m far too fucking busy inventing new and ingenious ways to make scandalous amounts of money.

For example, I significantly improved my skills to rip people off by selling them photos of themselves mixed with photos of gorgeous people that I find on the internet for free. This technique, which I named Murphing (after the name of the poor bastard that bought my first “masterpiece”), is as simple as eating a healthy breakfast. Just fry the bacon, add the eggs and Voila! you got yourself a coc… a piece of art ready to sell for at least 10000 pounds.

Here’s how I did Murphy:

Murphy Six Packed

If you want to learn more about this amazing technique and the exact steps that you need to take to achieve such wonders, all you need to do is run to the nearest store and buy my book “Life as a marshmallow”, on shelves now at only 149.999.999,99 GBP.

Gotta go do the old rumpy pumpy now, if you know what I mean…

Love me tender,

Purky

I don’t mind over matter

Hello, my name is Purky Velcrolove and I love shagging.

It previously occurred to me that Homens only promotes dancers that shag him instead of those who really deserve it by working hard, making tips and being honest. You can only imagine my frustration throughout the time I wasted at FC, having to watch all those other whores rising with absolutely no merit, while I was being ignored in spite of my being a bloody genius.

And truth be told, there actually was a fair amount of shagging involved and still that nitwit bastard didn’t make me a star.

So after all this and much more, I’m still nobody. Thanks a lot, Homens!
You can read more about it and how I dealt with this crisis in my upcoming book “Life as a marshmallow” that you can pre-order now following this link. You get a free printed autograph for each copy you order online. LIMITED OFFER!
Bugger and blast, look at the time! Better run, I invited Bucky over and we’re gonna use my scrap gold bullion to build a Lego robot. How awesome is that?!?
Love is in the air,
Purky

Just a carpet ride away from the Magic Kingdom

Hello everyone and welcome to my post. My name is Bucky, but you know THAT, don’t be silly… Hihi.

What you don’t know is that Imorala almost finished our club. Yay! She finally gets to eat and sleep now! YAY!

Oh, I’m so excited! In fact today, after my usual stroll in the Little Red Riding Hood’s enchanted forest, I decided to stop by the club and found Imorala working on the last details of the castle… It was certainly time for a celebration so I command… err… asked her to take a well-deserved break and give me an enema.

Good things in, bad things out! (I always say)

It felt soooo good spoiling myself like that and it made me soooo happy that I felt like singing a song and taking a photo.

♫ In goes the tube ♫

♫ And up flows the water ♫

♫ Making me clean and gaaaay ♫

♫ The future goes in ♫

♫ And the past goes out ♫

♫ It’s my E-N-E-M-AAAAAA! ♫

♫ Hooray! ♫

And look how pretty I am (I don’t know why Imorala looks so grim in every picture but I hug her still cause she’s my sla… err… friend). Photo coming right down (get it? :P) (you got it? oh, i’m soo funny):

Me and Imorala making it happen. XOXO Bucky 🙂

I have to go now, Purky just texted me to go help her with her latest invention. Look at the message she sent me: “U & I ❤ $£¥€ & 8=>~”. Silly best friend, how would I know what a cumshot is? But if it’s out there, I’m absolutely sure that she knows perfectly well how to turn it into lots and lots of money.

Candy canes and fairy dust all,

Bucky

Public apologies and disclaimer

Hello, my name is Homens Pinelli.

I would like to publicly apologize for Purky’s earlier language. That was uncalled for and totally out of line. Lucky for her I support freedom of speech or else I would have erased it.

There has been some confusion created by people who think I made those stories up about them. Couldn’t be farther from the truth!

As I have stated before, I merely collect the messages from people who decided on their own free will that they do not wish to continue having access to the Second Life club called FC. And do the work for them by posting them here (by the way guys, setting up a blog is free you know?).

I couldn’t invent that shit up if I wanted to. I’m way to dumb and focused on sex. Lol.

Yours truly,

Homens Pinelli, the Philanthropist